Of Blaise and Pansy
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: The fateful relationship of Blaise and Pansy... mentions character death in the last chapters, possible triggers
1. Muggle Studies

"What the hell is that supposed to be?"

Blaise sighed, wondering why Pansy had even signed up for the Muggle Studies option if she was going to insult and mock every single item the Professor brought out to teach. It was getting monotonous. They needed something slightly different, and Blaise was certain that there was at least _someone_ who wanted to learn something from this class.

"A computer, Miss Parkinson. Please don't interrupt me," Professor Whittlestone told Pansy sternly, her eyes locked on the girl who had finally found her seat in front of Blaise. The glare didn't seem to have any effect on Pansy, probably because this was how every lesson started. Everyone had gotten used to it, even Granger had stopped hissing in frustration from somewhere in the front of the class at Pansy's actions. Why Granger wanted to take a class she clearly knew more than the Professor in, was beyond Blaise's comprehension. She didn't even need a head start in any of her subjects with that amount of studying she did.

"Sounds about as useless as this class."

Blaise had seen the machine before. His mother, while pureblood, as not above finding people to fiddle with the useful things she found in the muggle world - Arthur Weasley was not the only wizard fascinated with muggle things. That device was one of them, and it had been the only thing Blaise could agree with his mother on its usefulness, although he tended to find the games on it far more amusing. Who would think clicking a button could kill you by setting of a… a… mind? Mine? He couldn't remember exactly what it was.

"If you're going to be a prat about it, why did you even take this option?" Granger demanded suddenly, as if Pansy's comment had been directed straight at her and not at the object lying rather uselessly on the table. Blaise knew that the computer was as good as useless to most of the people here, as most of the muggleborns, who probably had an idea of what was going on, hadn't taken the elective, and the purebloods and halfbloods who were actually taking the class… would probably need to be imperioused to actually manage to get something right, or even turn the machine on. It would be a small miracle if the Professor herself managed to turn the computer on. That may actually be a start.

"I don't exactly _need_ the other stuff, or any of this, now do I, Granger? I'm not a plebeian like you, who is going to spend the rest of her life _working_."

"Oh please, that's only because you haven't got nearly enough brain cells _to_ work," Granger shot back, and Blaise winced. He had never seen Granger, or any other Gryffindor for that matter, get that vicious. For all their righteousness and whatever, they never became cruel, at least not intentionally.

"You'd probably get kicked out of the first job you even _tried_ doing, Parkinson. It's a wonder you've even managed to pass, your intelligence must actually be on the level of Crabbe and Goyle!"

Pansy looked affronted, and opened her mouth to retort but was interrupted by Professor Whittlestone.

"Enough! Miss Parkinson, if you are not interested in my class, please leave. Miss Granger, I really did expect better from you."

Blaise sighed. The rest of the lesson would be incredibly boring after this. Pansy tended to make everything just that much more bearable with her attitude of distaste for everything around her.

Other than Draco. Something that annoyed Blaise to no end, because Pansy would be coming to _him_ for help after dinner instead of bothering Draco.

Stupid Malfoy.

 **Written for Flying Lessons: Blaise/Pansy [muggle computer] - beginnings**


	2. Glares

"I don't know why you're being so difficult! It's just one problem! It's not like I'm asking you to do all the homework! You're usually fine with it!"

Blaise huffed, stomping up the stairs, wishing for once that females weren't allowed into the male dorms as they weren't allowed into the female ones. He could hear Pansy's voice following him up the stairs. He was highly tempted to sit on his bed and close the curtains, but that didn't work against Pansy, who had grown too accustomed to getting whatever she wanted.

"And you can't just do it because?" Blaise huffed barely loud enough for Pansy to hear it.

The Slytherin dorms were exactly like all the other dorms, no matter how much they lied about having the best dorms with fewer people per room. It was utterly delightful to watch the Gryffindors get angry over that small detail. The only times there were fewer beds per room was when there weren't too many Slytherins in that year. Each dorm had the appropriate number of beds because despite their houses, they were all the same to Hogwarts and her magic treated all of them equally.

"I'd get it wrong!" Pansy shrieked.

"You make that sound like it's the worst thing in the world, like the muggles would find us if you get _one_ question wrong. Why don't you just go ask Draco, or someone?"

"Draco would think I'm stupid!"

Blaise winced at the tone of her voice, but that was the entire problem. Everything Pansy ever did was for _Draco_ and Blaise wasn't about to spend any more of his energy for that bloody peacock. Even if it was Pansy. She didn't give him a second glance unless she wanted something from him, and Blaise hated that. He hated being used, and that was exactly what Pansy was doing.

"Not that getting it right would make much of a difference," Blaise muttered.

Blaise knew Pansy was glaring at him from where she stood somewhere above him, but Blaise couldn't be bothered to open his eyes to look. Pansy wouldn't understand. Blaise doubted she even could understand anything that she hadn't thought of herself, and that was disappointing as his mother would never accept a simple airhead like her, even if Blaise did like her. Blaise knew his mother was hoping for a daughter-in-law whom she could teach her tricks to, because his mother had tried it on him and it had failed badly, so that any child of Blaise's would still be taught it.

"Fine! I will go to Draco then. He'll definitely help me!" Pansy huffed, stalking out the room.

Blaise knew Draco wouldn't. The other boy didn't like Pansy, only tolerated her. Blaise knew that, but Pansy didn't and wouldn't believe him even if he tried to tell her. Blaise wanted to see Draco's reaction when Pansy asked, that would be telling to almost every other Slytherin. Blaise almost felt sorry for Pansy, but didn't, especially after everything she had already done. Pansy deserved a little bit of humiliation, and who was Blaise to deny her that?

He smirked.

 **Written for Flying Lessons – Misunderstanding: He/She smirked [Four poster bed]**


	3. Drunk

"Slow down and enjoy life."

That was what Blaise's mother had always said. It was difficult believing her, though, as she went through husbands like she changed her clothes. It would be ridiculous to call that a life that was 'slow', or even 'enjoyable' really.

Blaise thought he was rather good at following that advice. After all, he didn't 'just' fall in love with some random person, did he? He's spent twelve years without so much as a crush on anyone, none that he knew of, at least.

The burn of Firewhiskey, he wasn't supposed to be drinking it or have any on him but that was another story, did nothing but speed things up. The burn of his throat distracted his thinking mind to the sting, allowing his emotions to run rampant – something he rarely indulged in. Blaise couldn't quite remember the occasion at the moment, but he knew that there was one, and it was pretty important. Firewhiskey had never been his favoured beverage, anyway.

Emotions really shouldn't be trusted. Or be allowed to roam without the chains of the logical mind.

It had only taken one too many shots of Firewhiskey, and extremely bad timing for him to fall in love with Pansy.

It was the most terrifying feeling Blaise had ever experienced.

Mainly because he could only _barely_ control his emotions anymore, especially around Pansy, and, _Merlin_ , there was no way he could let his mother find out about this.

 _Love_ was something his mother didn't believe in, after all, and she had taught Blaise the same lifestyle. There wasn't a point in it. It simply wasn't worth it. That was the only way his mother could marry so many people, the reason most people saw her as heartless (she probably was, though) and few wanted to be on her wrong side.

"It's a deep, dark chasm that you can never escape," Blaise still remembered the dark expression in his mother's face. "It takes everything you have and turns it into something else, something soft and easily pliable. Something we can never allow us to be. Avoid it, Blaise. It's not something you want to deal with in your life. It's best left alone."

But what was he to do when his days were filled with carefully styled brown hair, and a sickly sweet scent? When his mind was filled with the expression Pansy reserved for Draco Malfoy only? There was no way to simply _leave it alone_ , but, Merlin, did he want to.

One drunken night and his mind was filled with her, and she didn't even know anything off it. It wasn't like Pansy would care anyway. His mother wasn't a Death Eater like Lucius Malfoy was, nor was the wealth his mother had garnered anywhere near the wealth of the Malfoy family, because that was what most pureblood families sought when arranging a marriage. That was why he avoided the lot of them.

One night and everything had changed, yet nothing had.

Bloody hell, he was _never_ getting drunk again.

 **Written for Flying Lessons – Speed: moving too fast [Bottle of Firewhiskey] – "slow down and enjoy life"**

 **Written for Quidditch Pitch: chasm**


	4. Or Not

Blaise found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place, and, while it wasn't quite literal, that didn't make his situation any easier.

Finding Pansy sitting at the edge of the lake, _sobbing_ , didn't help his promise of staying away from Pansy one little bit. The fact that he had been accompanied by Draco, who promptly left upon seeing her only worsened the already terrible situation. While Blaise was, in no uncertain terms, _not_ a knight in shining armour, he couldn't possibly stand Pansy's tears. Giving up on someone didn't mean that the emotions for that person simply disappeared, however, despite how much easier it would be if that was so.

 _Merlin_ , it was so confusing. It was little wonder that his mother never bothered with it.

"Pansy?" Blaise called, his voice carrying a half-sigh in exasperation of himself. If he had a shred of intelligence he would have left her to cry her tears out alone, but, _no_ , Blaise was about to behave like one of those blasted Gryffindors with no self-preservation.

It really didn't help that Pansy was completely oblivious to his feelings. He had promised himself that he would admit it to her sometime this week, slightly appeasing himself by not giving himself an exact day and time.

Blaise sighed almost inaudibly. He half expected him to blurt it out any minute now.

"What happened this time?" Blaise asked, settling next to Pansy, but making sure he wasn't exactly in arm's reach. Who knew how she would react? Pansy had always been particularly violent when she got upset, and Blaise didn't quite know _how_ upset she was right now. Even sitting next to her was a bit of a gamble, to be honest, she could very easily be holding something very deadly.

"You make it sound like this happens all the time," Pansy said thickly.

Blaise chose not to comment, ignoring the fact that he had overheard some of the girls in Pansy's dorm muttering about her being upset in their dorm room only last week.

"I've seen the way Draco looks at Daphne!" Pansy burst out after only a few minutes of silence. "He doesn't even pay attention to me anymore! He's even nice to Astoria, even though he barely knows her! I know it's only because of Daphne too."

Blaise thought it was a bit of a stretch to say that Draco 'barely knew' Daphne. Their family wasn't exactly unknown in the Pureblood circles. They were fairly well off, actually, despite being a neutral family, one of the most successful.

"Well, have you told him about how you feel?" Blaise asked carefully, feeling like a hypocrite to be asking the question. Here he was, not doing exactly the same thing. Blaise would have snorted if doing so wouldn't make Pansy feel like it was because of her situation.

"Feel about what? We're just meant to be! Everyone says that!" Pansy cried.

Blaise couldn't help but feel the small inkling of hope starting to trickle into his mind. If Pansy didn't _really_ love Draco, then perhaps he had a chance? If he could get Pansy to fall in love with _him_ instead, then he would have the chance with her that he wanted. He just needed to be careful.

And not let Pansy know his intentions outright.

Who was he kidding? Blaise knew that he was looking for a way to get out of telling Pansy. If he were a Gryffindor, he would call it cowardice, but Blaise wasn't. It was a tactical decision here, even if Pansy did look a lot calmer now.

Calmer even though she was tossing stones into the lake.

Taking a deep breath, Blaise steeled himself to say it…

"You'll anger the merpeople if you continue doing that."

… or not.

Pansy huffed, "So what?"

"They threw a Grindylow at Millicent for throwing rocks into the lake last week."

Pansy stopped, mid-throw.

"That's a good reason."

 **Written for Flying Lessons – endurance and hardships: Love is so confusing, there's no peace of mind – Heart of Glass, Blondie [mermaid]**

 **Written for Ultimate Chocolate Frog Card Trading Club – Fulbert the Fearful [Challenge: Write about cowardice]**


	5. Jealous

"You know, Pansy, if would be really easy to get Draco jealous enough to want you back. You're a Slytherin for _something_. You've been behaving like a ridiculous Hufflepuff! You're embarrassing!"

Blaise had watched Pansy mope around for _days_ already. She'd been wandering the corridors looking like someone had kicked her puppy, and she sat in the Slytherin common rooms looking wistfully in Draco's direction. It was getting ridiculous, no, it _was_ ridiculous and had been for some time, and the hints he was dropping her were getting less and less vague. Pansy was usually smarter than this, more open to people dropping hints everywhere. Maybe she just didn't expect it to come from him…

"What do you mean?" Pansy's eyes narrowed as they focussed on Blaise.

"Simple. You're looking too desperate, and that makes it look like you're always going to be there for Draco whenever he gets bored with someone else. You're being taken for granted."

"But I will always be here!"

Blaise sighed, "Draco isn't going to come to you, if you're acting desperate! You need to be untouchable! Act like you don't care! Like you usually do to everyone else!"

Act like you're in love with me, and then actually fall in love with me, went unsaid by Blaise, and unnoticed by Pansy.

"Do you think that will work?" Pansy sounded so hopeful, it was nearly sickening.

Of course not, _I_ don't want it to work, was what Blaise wanted to say.

"Of course it will," Blaise said instead. Pansy would never go through with it otherwise, continuously pining over that blond prat.

Pansy's eyes narrowed, "So will _you_ help me with that then? What will you get out of it? Helping me doesn't seem to benefit you in anyway."

"Does taunting Malfoy not seem like a good enough reason to you?" Blaise sighed in faux exasperation before smiling like he'd planned it all along, "Perhaps not to you, maybe, but it's kind of enough for me. I do expect another favour sometime in the near future, though."

Pansy nodded. "How are we going to do this then?"

Blaise nearly, _nearly_ facepalmed. He couldn't resist the sigh that left his mouth, though.

"We're trying to make Draco _jealous_ , Pansy. I think _you_ should know how to do _that_ better than anyone else! You've done it so many times before! _Merlin_ , Pansy."

"Don't get annoyed with me!"

"I'm the one helping you, not the other way around!"

Pansy glared for another moment, before relenting. "Fine. Draco's favourite colour is cerulean, so I'll be wearing that tomorrow. Wait for me in the Common Room. We can go to breakfast together."

Pansy nodded to herself, as if she had planned the entire thing, before spinning on her heel and leaving Blaise in the corridor by himself.

Blaise let out a breathy laugh as he watched her leave, wondering what he had managed to get himself into this time. Whatever it was, it was bound to be interesting, and it would _definitely_ get him Pansy.

"No reason to stay is a good reason to go," Blaise murmured, watching as Pansy's figure disappeared.

 **Written for Flying Class: manipulation [colour – Cerulean] – No reason to stay is a good reason to go (dialogue)**


	6. Darkness

"I can't believe you got him to agree to this!" Pansy whispered to Blaise, a look of nervous excitement filling her eyes.

"It wasn't particularly difficult," Blaise said, rolling his eyes. "Daphne was rather excited about it, and Draco wasn't able to say no after that. Not that he didn't try."

"I knew it was Daphne all along! She's the reason he ignored me!"

Blaise rolled his eyes. He was almost regretting telling Pansy about that little titbit, but it was much better than her screeching about it on the night. At least now she had a bit of time to calm down, not that she had calmed down too much, but Blaise supposed that it was better than nothing.

"Blaise? Pansy? Great! You're here," came Daphne's cheerful voice from within the shadows.

Pansy's expression was so fake Blaise had to resist the urge to snort. If Daphne bought that… but then it _had_ been Daphne who had first suggested this double date to him, and Blaise had simply gone with it, seeing the pros of the night. Daphne _clearly_ had something planned, and… she was a lot better at this than he was, not that Blaise would ever admit that.

"The stars are really bright tonight!" Daphne said, her cheerful voice sounding extremely strange in the cold atmosphere surrounding them.

"They are, aren't they?" Draco's voice came from behind her, wrapping his arm around her when he got close enough.

Pansy's eyes narrowed and she forced her arm around Blaise, leaning her head against his shoulder as if they did that all the time. It felt a bit awkward, at first, but Blaise knew it was something he could get used to.

Draco transfigured a rock into a blanket with little difficulty, before settling on it with Daphne. Pansy sent Blaise a _look_ , and he sighed before setting to transfigure another blanket, even though Draco's transfiguration was _far_ superior to his own. The blanket was nowhere near as comfortable as Draco's looked, but Blaise supposed that it sufficed since neither of them were really paying attention to the _blanket_ of all things.

Pansy had her hands wrapped around Blaise, but her eyes were glued to Draco, who wasn't paying her even a moment of his attention. Daphne had captured all of it with whatever she was whispering to him. Pansy had begun to shift uncomfortably, wanting to hear what they were talking about. It was becoming obvious that they had placed a privacy charm around themselves while Blaise and Pansy had been distracted.

Daphne sent a smirk their way, and Blaise felt Pansy stiffen.

"Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea," Pansy said, her voice growing softer, more uncertain, and Blaise started feeling a little bad for initiating most of this. Pansy's eyes had finally left Draco, and she was staring straight up into the sky.

It wasn't too long before Pansy stood, wiping herself off, and leaving them in silence. Blaise could only watch as she disappeared into the darkness.

 **Written for Flying Lesson 6: Teamwork – a double date goes terribly wrong [people are watching the stars in the story]**


	7. Argument

"You're still running after that Parkinson girl, aren't you, Blaise?" Stephani Zabini asked her only son in disappointment. "She's spoilt. I don't see what you find so interesting with her. She sounds like any other girl."

Blaise gritted his teeth. This was the fourth time his mother had started this conversation since he had returned for Hogwarts only a week ago. She simply didn't understand, _she_ was the one who got bored with every second person she got into contact with. Blaise just wasn't the same.

"You don't understand, Mother."

"I do. I've seen so many people do the same thing you're doing now, and do you know what happens at the end? They're unhappy. They realise it isn't worth it. I really wished you listened to me more," Stephani said with a frown. "You need to get over that girl. She isn't good for you. You could do so much better."

Stephani began walking down the corridor, and Blaise knew she expected him to follow. There wasn't a question otherwise. It was always like this.

"Now, I can't tell you to stop following that girl like a lost puppy, because I know you would continue anyway," Stephani sent Blaise another disappointed look, "but I suppose this will be good training for the future. If you do, somehow, end up being permanent, and let me tell you that doesn't truly exist, I will be rather disappointed."

Blaise sighed. He didn't quite understand her dislike of commitment. It simply wasn't fair to everyone else! Especially the people who wore their commitment to another person with the pride of a peacock and the fierceness of a lion. His mother didn't understand, she _wouldn't_ understand, just because of her past experiences. It was a surprise she even trusted Blaise at all, seeing that he was a male like all the other people she had learnt to play with over the years.

"Don't sigh at me like that, young man!" Stephani warned, turning around suddenly.

"You're not bothering to listen to me!" Blaise argued.

" _You_ cannot fully comprehend the situation! You don't know what you're getting yourself into!"

"I can't believe you! You're not even part of this relationship beyond a bystander and yet you want to meddle in my affairs!"

"I'm your mother, Blaise, and I know best! That Parkinson girl is _most definitely not_ best!"

"You're just framing this around your own life! Just because one man, the first man you actually _loved_ , as much as you sneer at that word, left you at the altar, _you_ treat everyone else like thestral droppings! Not everyone is like him! Yet you're become exactly like that man!" Blaise said angrily, frustration taking over as he realised his mother would never bother to think of this objectively.

The deafening silence warned Blaise that he had said too much. He didn't even remember what he had said, but from the expression his mother wore…

"Do you know what he told me?" Stephani said finally, eyes hard as she stared at Blaise.

Blaise shook his head. His mother had never been particularly open about this subject beyond the day she had told the story to him, voice slurred in her drunkenness. It was a topic that had never come up again. Not until today, when he had opened his big mouth.

"'Your soul is haunting me and telling me everything is fine, but I wish I was dead,' he told me in a whisper the night before. I hadn't understood it. That was the night you were conceived. The night before the wedding. I only realised the meaning of those words after the time for the wedding had come and gone," Stephani told her son, tears still filling her eyes at the memory despite it being so many years ago. Stephani's eyes hardened again, "but if you're going to be just like he was, you might as well leave and not come back. I don't need you, like I don't need anyone else."

But Blaise knew that she did need him. Who else was going to cover for her when one of her husbands died again? Nobody knew for a fact that _she_ was the one to actually kill her husbands, although they suspected it.

It was going to be difficult, but Blaise thought there was a possibility of getting his mother to warm up to Pansy. Her words told Blaise that this entire outburst was just out of worry, and Stephani was a mother before anything else. She would never deny her only son happiness, right?

 **Written for Flying Lessons Assignment 7: avoiding obstacles: A parent/family member of one (or both) half/ves of the relationship doesn't want the relationship to go ahead ["Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine, but I wish I was dead."; (plot) A major argument]**


	8. Unbelievable

That summer seemed to last forever. Blaise's mother had been stand-offish towards him, making the situation at home a bit more than awkward. Blaise was glad for the fact that it was time for the trip to Diagon Alley already. He usually hated it, and the fact that it meant the end of his holidays, but the atmosphere was too oppressive at home, and Blaise was glad to be out of there for a while.

Pansy hadn't been particularly willing to see him either. She had turned down every mention of her visiting him, and never offered her own. Blaise knew that it would be like this, but he hadn't expected her to ignore him the entire summer. What made it worse was the pointed glances his mother kept sending his way, as if she knew exactly what Blaise was trying, and failing, to do. Blaise would have laughed had it been anyone else.

When Blaise saw Marcus Flint talking to Pansy, he knew that it wasn't about to get any better for him. Marcus knew the real reason for all of this, and Blaise was sure Pansy wouldn't be overly happy to hear it. Blaise didn't even know how Marcus had found out, only that he had come up to him one day, and offhandedly mentioned it.

That had been a real shock. Blaise hadn't thought that Marcus would continue to listen to the Slytherin gossip despite having left Hogwarts for several years already. When Pansy turned to Blaise with an angry look in her eyes, Blaise didn't have to wonder if the dislike had remained as strong as it had been years ago.

The smirk Marcus shot at Blaise behind Pansy's back said more than enough, and it sent a blaze of anger rushing through Blaise. He hadn't done anything to deserve the older boy's hatred. Nothing that construed something like this in retaliation! Especially not when everything was going so well!

Well, not really, but they would have been soon! This entire relationship with Pansy would have been believable in the near future!

"Was that why you offered to help me?" Pansy demanded, eyes narrowed as she marched closer. "Because you were hoping to convince me to give up on Draco?"

Blaise was about to shake his head in disagreement, when Marcus stepped up behind Pansy to give his input.

"Of course he did. Why else would he have asked for so little? Surely, if he wanted to get back at Draco, there would have been so many easier methods of doing so…"

Pansy nodded in agreement, the anger in her eyes refusing to leave. "You're unbelievable. Marcus, over here, told me everything, and _he_ promised to help me get Draco back."

Blaise knew that Marcus had intentionally neglected to mention the fact that Draco wouldn't want her back anyway. Not when he had Daphne, considered the most beautiful girl in Slytherin, by his side. Blaise wondered if Marcus even felt sorry for giving Pansy false hope like that, somehow, Blaise doubted that Marcus even cared about that.

Or perhaps he did, to make Blaise feel even worse than he already did.

Blaise couldn't say anything as Pansy stalked off with Marcus. He didn't even think to call out after her, despite the fact that Pansy hadn't bothered to hear a word of his defence, or even waited for him to say a word. Blaise had thought that he would get at least that, but apparently not.

Marcus had never been particularly believable, yet everyone believed him. It was frustrating, to be honest.

"Looks like you messed up, huh?"

"I did, Greengrass, but you're also going to feel the effects. I'm afraid Pansy hasn't quite given up yet."

"I didn't expect her to," Daphne smirked, "but she's going to find out that it's much worse this way. She's only going to be embarrassed to tears. She, of all people, should know that."

Blaise couldn't help the dawning horror. He didn't think he would be able to watch that happen to Pansy. He definitely didn't want to, and, yet, there would be nothing he could do about it.

Daphne had disappeared into the milling crowds before Blaise had even turned around.

 **Written for Pokemon Journey Challenge [That summer seemed to last forever; blaze; believable]**

 **Written for Flying Lessons Assignment 8: Flying with different brooms - The third party must have a negative impact on the relationship in some manner: but it is up to you to decide how they will negatively impact on your relationship [Marcus Flint]**


	9. Psychosis

It had been several days since Blaise had last slept. He knew that he should sleep: his concentration in his lessons had decreased dramatically, and he needed a good night's sleep to fix that, but he simply couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind would go into hyperactive mode leaving thoughts flying beneath his eyelids. Things he had believed to have long since forgotten seemed to creep up into his memory.

Like that time Daphne had winked at him while Pansy had still been his. Blaise was reminded that the wink had been extremely Slytherin, hinting at things that Blaise was certain he hadn't noticed the first time around. It hinted to Blaise that he should assume Daphne had told Marcus, and treat her as such. Perhaps the last words that Pansy had spoken told him had held some kind of secret message that had asked him to continue pursuing her like he had before.

So Blaise didn't think anything of it when he began seeing Pansy in deserted places that he sometimes wandered. It was a secret between them, never to be mentioned around the other Slytherins. Blaise knew better than to mention it after he had seen her fawning over Draco in the common room only moments after she had left him in one of the many corridors that wound around the dungeons. Daphne had glared at the girl, and distracted Draco from her presence with an ease that Blaise had seen many times before.

Blaise absolutely detested Flint's presence in his life, despite the fact that Pansy had whispered to him that she didn't care about any of that, her voice sounding like little more than a whisper of wind, and she didn't really believe Marcus. Blaise didn't really see how that was possible given that he hadn't denied Marcus's claims, but Blaise was glad for that. That didn't mean that he wouldn't make Marcus's life a living hell every time he had the opportunity. Blaise wouldn't forget Marcus's actions, nor would he be able to forgive him.

"You still believe in me. Don't you?

That had been Blaise's only question, and his biggest fear, and Pansy only smiled lightly in answer. Her hand brushing his shoulder's gently. Blaise didn't notice that her hands were as cold as the bitter wind that whittled past him. Nor the fact that he was always surrounded by silence.

Pansy's fawning over Draco looked more and more mocking by the day. Blaise didn't know when it had changed. That had to mean that she loved him in return, didn't it?

Even the fact that Blaise was now avoided by nearly everyone, and often given a wide berth in the corridors, didn't matter anymore, because Pansy was with him while everyone was around now. Only Pansy did, and she was still with him.

He was certain of it.

For now, though, Blaise could continue trying to sleep despite the fact that the waking world was much better, and his dreams told him that Pansy had left him for good. He would try to sleep only to wake up again.

 **Written for Flying Lessons Assignment 9: Psychosis [You still believe in me. Don't you?]**


	10. Lies

Blaise's eyes widened as he caught sight of Pansy heading down the corridor towards him. He hadn't seen her all day, which was suspicious because she had been a near-constant companion for weeks! Blaise didn't like the fact that Pansy looked slightly troubled: he absolutely hated that expression on her face. Pansy should never be troubled by anything.

"Blaise?"

It was the first time that he had heard her voice in what seemed like forever, and he paused for a moment to take it in, memorizing it because he had no idea when he would hear it again. Pansy had always been silent, but that just meant that she enjoyed his company.

"Pansy?" Blaise said in reply, a smile touching his lips again.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have believed Marcus as easily as I did. I didn't even listen to you. I've treated you horribly. I'm sorry," Pansy said.

Blaise didn't understand what Pansy was apologising for but thought she would take badly if he didn't remember, "There's nothing to apologise for."

Pansy gifted him with another one of her smiles, one that Blaise found that he would do anything to see again and again. Pansy gasped and muttered an excuse only moments later, leaving him alone once again, but Blaise didn't care.

The Pansy he had seen in the last few weeks weren't as happy as this one was, there had been few smiles, and little happiness, and Blaise had done everything he could to cheer Pansy up. To think that all he had to do was forgive her for something he hadn't held against her to make her happy again. Blaise let out a laugh that echoed around the empty corridor.

He saw Pansy again in the distance. She was smiling at him, and waving him towards her. Shaking his head, Blaise moved towards her in a half-jog. The fact that she came back wasn't as surprising as it would have been, since she had been doing this rather often lately.

Just as Blaise got close to her, she moved away again. Her eyes were alight in amusement, and Blaise absolutely adored that expression on her face. Her countenance was far lighter than it usually was, the sorrow was long gone.

She slipped between corridors and dusty passageways with Blaise only barely able to keep up with her. Pansy was leading him to the dungeons by a route that he wasn't familiar with. The occasional glimpse of a known corridor told him that, but they were only glimpses, and each further corridor Pansy led him through only got progressively dustier to the point that Blaise was surprised Pansy was even in the corridor.

That was until she slipped into a room not too far ahead of him. The light from the room made Blaise wince as it took a few moments for his eyes to adjust.

There were whispers now. He recognised the voices. One was Pansy, of course, and the other Daphne.

Blaise hadn't thought that they were on speaking terms with Draco holding both their affections, but apparently he had been wrong. He was about to step into the room, when he heard his name.

"Oh, Blaise believes we're back together. You should have seen his smile! The poor sod!" Pansy said, laughing.

Daphne's laughter joined Pansy's, "And he doesn't suspect a thing? Oh, our plot is coming together perfectly."

Blaise could see a flicker of shadows, "Of course not. Poor, little Blaisy isn't going to know what hit him!"

"You always have been vicious, Pansy. Building a guy's hopes, only to crush it again."

"We can both have our revenge. You, against his mother for your brother's death, and me, against him for his lies."

 **Written for Flying Lessons Assignment 10: [write about one of the pairing telling a lie] – a family member/friend dies**

 **Written for Prompt Challenge: Bonfire Night [plot]**


	11. A Little Push

Blaise had run at those words that has whispered of treachery and betrayal. Whether or not his footsteps had echoed through the abandoned corridor, alerting the two girls to his disappearing presence, Blaise really didn't know. It didn't make a difference either – it would fix anything that had already been done. Blaise could barely believe it, but he knew it had to be true. It was far more believable to Pansy forgiving him as easily as she had.

He cursed himself for not knowing, for not recognising Pansy's kindness for what it really was: a sweetened poison, one that Blaise had watched her serve many times in the past.

The Astronomy tower loomed above him, its shadowy interior exactly what he was looking for, and its distance from the Slytherin common room only an added bonus. Blaise's lungs burnt as he reached the top of the tower as quickly as he could, but even that couldn't distract him from the fierce ache running through his chest. The tiredness would go away, Blaise knew that from being nearly late to several classes, but he doubted the ache would.

It was exceptionally windy this high up – something Blaise hadn't really noticed as he had raced up to the top of the tower, but it threatened to push him every now and again and it was only his grip on the railings against the sides that kept him steady.

Blaise took a glance at the distant ground, and for a moment he wondered if that was even a possibility – if he was strong enough, determined enough to end his life over something as trivial as this (despite it feeling like the end of the world), whether Daphne's and Pansy's words were enough to make him that desperate. They weren't, especially when his mother's voice rang through his mind, reminding him that they were just as vindictive, if not more so, if they wanted to be. But Blaise knew that he still loved Pansy, and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if his mother got it into her head that it was time to kill Pansy like any of her husbands.

In a moment of insight, Blaise realised that this was exactly what his mother had been trying to protect him from with all of her warnings. This was the exact reason that she hadn't approved of his relationship with Pansy, perhaps because Pansy had reminded her too much of herself: selfish and vindictive when wronged.

Blaise risked another glance at the ground, not knowing why the ground looked so interesting today of all days. Perhaps it was because of the utterly lost feeling he could sense rushing through him, and the idea of him simply being the highest person in the school at that moment.

And he could be just a little higher if he dared risk it in this weather.

Blaise thought he would risk it, just this once – let his Gryffindor show. His magic would surely save him from the weather, should it turn on him.

With that thought, Blaise stepped onto the railing and then the ledge. Being this high up gave Blaise the feeling of being invincible, and he found that he rather liked that feeling. Blaise wondered if this was how Gryffindors felt every time they did something stupidly dangerous, because he could understand the pull now. It was ridiculous how good it felt, standing this high, fighting against the untamed wind that threatened to throw him over.

"Blaise! Get down from there!"

He turned to see who was shouting at him, but the gust of wind that shot by him caused him to lose his balance. It was just a little push; Blaise didn't even know where it had come from – whether it was meant to be helpful or harmful – but that was all that he needed to fall.

And as the whistling wind blew past him, he didn't even think to reach for his wand.

 **Written for Flying Lessons Assignment 11: Windy [The Astronomy Tower]**


	12. Leaving

It had been almost two years since that day when Blaise fell, and the blaming stares hadn't stopped. Neither did the howlers Mrs Zabini sent her daily. The message was nearly always the same, but the woman didn't care, and that didn't stop Pansy from flinching every time she saw it anyway.

The entire school had known of her involvement in Blaise's death, and Pansy wasn't surprised that the rumour mill had turned against her in a heartbeat. She had done it to so many other people before.

Pansy had survived the last year of Hogwarts, though. She had been isolated for those last months, no one willing to be anywhere near her, or run the possibility of even being mistaken to be friendly with her. Because, no matter the house, the Hogwarts students stood together, and Pansy had proven herself to be beyond their help.

It wasn't completely her fault, though! How was she supposed to have known that Blaise had been developing some kind of mental problem? Pansy was certain she hadn't caused that!

It didn't matter, though, because it was Pansy that had pushed Blaise that far, too far. They also knew that she had been the one at the top of the Astronomy tower with Blaise when he fell, and had done nothing to stop him. They didn't understand that she had been trying to pull him back, but he had tumbled off, and she had only been too shocked to do anything.

Her hope for her and Draco had dwindled when she heard Daphne's lie that it was all Pansy's idea, but it had still been there. Draco had believed Daphne without question, and the Slytherins had shunned Pansy too in turn.

But that had been almost two years ago, and Pansy never saw most of her Hogwarts year-mates anymore. No one went out of their way to see her, and she never went out of her way to see them. She hadn't been invited to Daphne and Draco's wedding, she hadn't even heard of it until the day after.

Pansy had been invited to this, though, and she was sure it was only because Daphne wanted to taunt her with everything she would never have – everything she had once hoped to have. Pansy didn't know why she had come, whether she enjoyed the torture, or whether it was just to finally give up on the possibility that was her and Draco. Blaise had tried to make her happy, knowing that this would eventually happen, but Pansy hadn't wanted to believe that at the time.

It wouldn't work, and it was never meant to. Just like Blaise's hope had never been something that could have been real, not without all this happening.

Daphne had never looked more beautiful, not that Pansy would ever admit it. Daphne was happy, as was Draco, and, together, their happiness was nearly palpable. Pansy couldn't help the small smile that came to her face when she entered the room after most of the other well-wishers had already left.

"Congratulations," Pansy said, as the two looked up.

"Thank you, Pansy," Daphne said with a light smile. "We have a son."

"I'm glad," Pansy said, not entirely sure how else to reply to that. "May I? See him, that is."

"Of course," Daphne said, despite the fact that Draco looked more than a little weary of her. It was clear that he still thought that Pansy was a danger.

"Don't worry, Draco, I won't pick him up or anything, so _he_ won't fall."

Draco flinched at her words, but Pansy didn't bother apologising.

The baby had a sprinkling of platinum blonde hair that would be exactly like Draco's when he got older. He was exactly what Pansy had expected him to be, and would grow up to be a heartbreaker, just as she heard all Malfoys did.

And Pansy smiled at the baby. It wasn't possible to be upset with a child; their circumstances weren't their fault.

This was enough. Pansy didn't need more, and she knew that she wasn't about to get more.

"I hope you always find a reason to smile, little one," Pansy said.

With those words, Pansy left.

She wouldn't be returning again.

 **Written for Flying Lessons: Endings [a baby features] – "I hope you always find a reason to smile."**


End file.
